I didn’t always live holy. There are things I used to do that would honestly grieve the person I am today. I wasn’t always someone who “loved” the Word of God or walked a life fully surrendered to Him. I was pregnant at 18, I smoked weed, I had sex before marriage, and that’s just the beginning.
For a long time, I claimed Christ with my mouth while my life said something completely different. I thought I was in… but I was living outside of His covering by my own choices.
Then I came face to face with truth, not the watered-down version, but the real thing, and the Lord confronted my heart: you are either in or you are out.
Here me.. there is no middle ground, no half-surrender, no double life that still calls itself obedience. And that’s where repentance became real to me.
True repentance is not saying “I’m sorry” and continuing the same life. It is a complete turning. It is when your mind changes, your heart breaks over sin, and your direction shifts. It is laying down what you once justified, cutting off what kept pulling you back, and choosing obedience even when it costs you. It’s a militant action. An about-face. It is not perfection, but it is a surrender that refuses to keep partnering with what God is calling you out of.
So when I speak strongly, when I call things back to God’s plumbline, it’s not because I think I’m above anyone, it’s because I remember living deceived, thinking I was right with God while I was still holding onto things and walking the path that was not His.
I know what it’s like to play both sides, and I also know the freedom that comes when you finally choose HIM.
“Bear fruit in keeping with repentance.” Matthew 3:8
“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” Luke 6:46
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23
“What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! Romans 6:1–2
“No one who abides in him keeps on sinning…” 1 John 3:6
“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot… because you are lukewarm… I will spit you out of my mouth.” Revelation 3:15–16
“Choose this day whom you will serve…” Joshua 24:15
“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret…” 2 Corinthians 7:10
